The only thing
worse than being sick yourself, is sitting by and watching a loved one become
sick before your very eyes; helplessly watching- wishing you could trade
places with them. Praying night and day for them!
For the past 5 or
so months I have walked through a tough storm with my best friend and boyfriend
of almost 5 years, Peter Reeves. He has been going through Chemotherapy to
treat the Lymphoma Cancer that was found in his right leg.
We never thought
that Peter- a young, active, God-fearing, full of life 20 year old would have to
battle the ups and downs, and seriousness of Cancer.
But it didn’t matter that
we did not expect it. It did not matter that we didn’t want it. And it didn’t
matter that he didn’t deserve it. He had it and we had to deal with it.
It is so true- you never think it will happen to you!
Today we are
missing our classes and chapel for the day, and are sitting in a hospital as he
undergoes Chemo. And as I sit here and listen to Peter snore (thank God- chemo lasts
for hours and makes your feel very weak and sick), and hear the machines beep
as they pump medicine through the port in Peter’s chest, and as I attempt to
get homework done while also doing everything I can to make today as
comfortable for him as possible, I stop and reflect on how despite everything-
God is still good!
Storms change us.
They do
not change God.
It seemed at first
when Peter was diagnosed that God had abandoned us. We prayed that the tumor
would disappear and the lymphoma would vanish before any chemo was started or any
surgery was done. And though God heard our prayers, they were not answered. It
was tough, confusing, and faith challenging at its finest!
After spending countless days in the hospital undergoing surgery, biopsies, and tests galore Peter finally started treatment.
His hair has fallen
out and his body is weak. We now take our lives one day at a time. There are days you wouldn’t
even know he was sick. And there are days when no sleep, or medicine can
subside the awful effects of this horrible disease. His days have been up and
down. There is little to no consistency when battling cancer.
That is except for
the Goodness and Grace of God!
Proverbs 10:25- When the storm has swept by, the wicked
are gone,
but the
righteous stand firm forever!
We all know the saying- but it takes on a whole new meaning
when you go through something as unpredictable as cancer-…
God never promised life would be easy. He
just promised to go through it with us!
As I sit in the hospital I see others walk by- dealing with
the same struggle- but most without any hope or divine strength. I see them
defeated with their only hope in the doctors. And even though doctors and
medicine can do so much they cannot do everything. Hope in anything but God is
limited.
I also see people here with stage 4/terminal levels of
Cancer, who will be coming every week for the rest of their lives. My heart
breaks for them and I pray daily for them and ask God to provide opportunities
to pray with and encourage them.
I praise God that he helped us find Peter’s cancer in the
beginning stages. I praise God that though any level or stage of cancer is more
than hard- he is not fighting for his life as so many unfortunately are!
I could sit here and blog a theological lesson on why and how
to trust God. I could preach to you about the faithfulness of God and show
you his goodness in the lives of Abraham, Moses, Jonah, and more- hoping to
encourage you to be faithful to God through it all. But I realized that just as God
speaks through his word- he speaks also through and powerfully uses the testimonies of
his people to accomplish similar purposes! This experience has happened to us but was purposed by God for his Glory- and it will be used as such!
This has been a hard road, and the toughest thing we have
gone through thus far, but Peter is getting better! Today marks his 4th
of 6 chemo treatments (we come every 21 days). We are more than half way done!
And though he is still feeling the sickness and side effects of Chemo, the
cancer is diminishing! This storm will be but yet a testimony in a few short
months!
In life we don’t always see God or think He is with us- but He promises in his to word to never leave us
or forsake us! I can now see this,
more than I ever have before!
I could get mad at God for putting us here- or I can praise
him for getting us through it! I choose to be faithful to the Lord all the days
of my life. Through the good days- through the bad days- when life is great-
and when I experience sorrow and pain.
Job 1:21 says, “Naked
came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither. The Lord
gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”
In Ephesians 5 the relationship between the Church and Jesus
is compared to the relationship between that of a husband and wife.
Just like a marriage, we must show our love for God by
reciprocating the same faithfulness he has given us, back to him with our
lives- no matter what season of life we are in!
He is our
God and we are to be his people...
For
better and for worse
For
richer and for poorer
In sickness and in health
To love
and to honor
All the
days of our life!
